Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize