can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize