May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Drunk is a universal language darling
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
