She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize