clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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