it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
