is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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