Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
