Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
