in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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