My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
