Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
