is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Your penis caused this!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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