I bet he comes in French.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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