My brain says no but my pants say off.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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