hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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