Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
