Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
