i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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