I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
