Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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