Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
