You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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