if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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