i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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