Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
