The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
