New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
