Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
