Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
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i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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