hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's shark week go big or go home
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
