doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
