I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
