Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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