Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
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We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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