dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
