she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
