Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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