Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
