he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
