Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize