Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
