i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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