ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
