Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
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wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
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You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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