how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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