Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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