next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Is it because I queefed?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Randomize
