i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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