I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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