its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
