And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
