Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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