So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
