i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
