How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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